Her Royal Chunkiness

When Lalea was born, she was nearly 6 weeks premature. She lost tons of weight and came home from the hospital as a tiny little peanut. She wouldn't nurse and she'd only drink a single ounce of formula at a time...then vomit it straight back up.

As she's gotten older, it hasn't been any easier feeding that child. She has annoyingly become one of the pickiest eaters I know. No wonder she's so skinny, she lives off nothing but Goldfish crackers and Gogurts.

Enter the little fish.

 
Anuhea was born at 37 weeks at the ripe ol' weight of 7 pounds. She was a healthy newborn and latched on to the boob immediately. She fed around the clock. She would nurse so furiously that she'd constantly choke...or more like drown herself. Slow down, Augustus. Save some room for later!

Out of necessity, we had to introduce Anu to the bottle. Her nursing days were over. She'd nurse for 2 seconds and when the milk wouldn't immediately start flowing, she'd scream bloody murder until you acquiesced and fixed her a bottle. She just couldn't be bothered to "work" for her food any longer.

Now that she's transitioned to pureed baby food, it's even worse. Girlfriend will go through 2 whole jars of food in one sitting. And if I don't get the spoon in her mouth fast enough? Yeah, she yells at me.

You know how experts say it can take babies up to, like, 20 times of trying a food for the first time to finally acclimate to and enjoy it? Not this chunky chubbetty. It's been love at first bite with every food I've offered her. Of course.

And after Miss Piggy is done with her 2 jar smorgasbord, she'll demand a 5oz bottle of formula to wash it all down. This child is eating us out of house and home!

One day, Lollers and Ry were talking about the difference in both girls' eating behaviors. Ryan says,

Lolli, you take after me. You're a picky eater. Anu is a chunky eater...like Mama.

I couldn't even be mad. It's absolutely true. 

Resurrecting the Champ

After a nearly 2 year hiatus, Mama is back in business.

Gird your loins. We about to run this!!!

A ton has happened since I took a break from blogging--more than I care to write about and more than you care to read, I'm sure. So, let's not dwell on the past. Besides, if you're reading this, you're either related to me or a friend and I'm sure you've already been stalking me on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, trying to stay up-to-date on what's been going on with the Schoeny tribe. (You know, cuz the world revolves around me and who wouldn't be interested in this?! What?? You're surprised by my narcissism? Hmm, we must not be family or friends after all.)

But in case you've been living under a rock, here are the most important things that happened to Los Schoenys since we last spoke...

 Ryan is CEO of Goldman Sachs and a competitive body builder. He splits his time between our penthouse in SLC and condo in Zurich.

 

Claire earned her trophy wife status after combing out her dreads and going back to pretty hair. She is currently a professional volleyball player, both beach and indoor, and is favored to win this year's St. George marathon.

Lalea is a child prodigy. When she's not conducting chemistry experiments and balancing equations, she's reading her way through the entire Norton Anthology of American Literature. She's also an aspiring photographer and independent film maker. 

Anuhea joined the team earlier this year. At only 5 months, she's already showing signs of extraordinary musical talent with a proclivity to vocal performance. And since there's a strong correlation between musical aptitude and literacy, it's only a matter of time before Anu asks to borrow Lalea's copy of The Grapes of Wrath.

Like I said, this is probably old news to you all. I'm sure you've kept up with us via Forbes magazine and TMZ.

But I'm so glad to welcome you all back to my blog. I'm excited to start writing again and of course, I never pass up a chance or opportunity to talk about myself.

You're welcome.

Consider the Blessings

This year has SUCKED! I mean, legitimately, royally blew BIG TIME! 2012 was not kind to Los Schoenys. Pretty much everything bad that can happen or possibly go wrong, did. 

The events of this year have left me saddened, bitter, and empty. Trying to find some solace, I've recently made it a habit of reading the inspirational Daily Messages on the church website every night before bed. 

Just last night, I was reading through these messages and came across a talk given by the president of our church during the most recent session of general conference. President Monson testifies,

"...rather than dwelling on the negative, if we will take a step back and consider the blessings in our lives, including seemingly small, sometimes overlooked blessings, we can find greater happiness."

Soooooo, what you're saying is that I shouldn't crawl into a hole and throw myself a pity party, asking everyone to feel sorry for all the bad things that have happened to us this year?? Instead, you want me to not only move on but give thanks for the blessings that did seep through the cracks of this tumultuous year? Focusing on the good rather than the bad will lead to greater happiness, you say???? It doesn't hurt to try...

Amid all the unfortunate, devastating, and down-right bad things that happened this year, there are still many many things for which I am grateful:

volleyball friends

extended family

Goldman Sachs

our new SLC house

the Take Shape for Life program

Little Readers

In the Heights

curvy girl blogs

a new sister-in-law

a new nephew

prayer

the atonement

Of course there are many more things I am grateful for and have been blessed with this year. And it's important to be mindful of those blessings instead of drowning in the sadness of our calamities and trials. While it's not always so easy to see the silver linning when faced with adversity, it is comforting to know that there is a purpose for it all, and that our Savior has already suffered for us and, therefore, understands our pain and can help us through our trials. 

Know thou...that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all..." (Doctrine and Covenants 122: 7-8)

Bad things happen, even when we make good choices. It's part of the plan!

Still, the blessings are there. Help is there. We have to remember to look and be grateful for even the smallest of blessings in our lives. And when we're struggling to see the good or are maybe too overwhelmed by the bad, we can ask our Father for relief and comfort. If we do these things, we can and we will find greater happiness. 

I hope this Thanksgiving finds everyone comforted, fulfilled, and content. 

SLC Bound!!!

The time has FINALLY come!!!

WE'RE MOVING UP TO SALT LAKE CITY!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!

We found the most adorable house with even more adorable landlords.

Ever since I got to Provo back in 2003, I was dreaming of the day when I'd pack up and leave it behind. Well, that day is finally here. As of December 1st, we will be residents of Salt Lake City. Only 10 minutes from Ry's office and 5 minutes from the Gateway mall, our new house is close to all the urban hustle of the city but far enough removed to still feel suburban and homely. I'm already in love!

So excited to spend this Christmas in our own little home and amid all the holiday festivities that the downtown area has to offer.

Provo, I bid you effing adieu!!!!!

Los Schoenys, out!!!!

National Bullying Prevention Month

As many of you know, I have the most beautiful, most clever, and most talented little girl in the world. So maybe I am a bit bias but she really, truly is the best daughter any mother could ask for.

If you've never read or seen The Help, there is a tender scene between the house maid, Aibileen, and the child she cares for, Mae Mobley. Mae Mobley's mother is neglectful, inattentive, and uncaring. Seeing how badly Mae Mobley needs the love and attention of her mother, Aibileen makes it a point to fill the void and positively affirm Mae Mobley's self-worth.

Rocking Mae Mobley in her nursery, Aibilene says,

"You is a smart girl. You a kind girl, Mae Mobley. You hear me? You is kind, you is smart, you is important!"

 And as soon as Mae Mobley is able to talk, Aibilene instructs her to repeat the self-affirmation,

"You is kind, you is smart, you is important!"

Taking a cue from Aibilene and Mae Mobley, I have made it a point to tell Lolli every day how much I love her, how wonderful she is, and how perfect she will always be. We've even adopted an affirmation of our own,

I am beautiful, smart, and special!

Every time Lolli draws a picture, makes up a dance, or sings a song, Ryan and I shower her with compliments and tell her how amazing she is. We go overboard with love and praise. The way I see it, if she's not getting it at home, where else is she going to find the love and appreciation she not only deserves but needs??

There are mean, mean people in this world.

Being a curvier and bigger girl all my life, I've found myself on the receiving end of some very hurtful comments, remarks, and jabs from very close-minded, judgmental, and misinformed people. Luckily, I have a family who loves me and, more importantly, continues to express their love for me each day. I've grown to know my self-worth. I've gained the confidence to assert that regardless of what the world thinks or says about me,

 I am beautiful! I am smart! I am special!!

Still, there are those who try to break us down, take that knowledge away from us. Recently,  CBS WKBT news anchor Jennifer Livingston was attacked by one of these insensitive individuals. Here is a video of the hurtful email Jennifer received and her response:

 

"Do not let your self-worth be defined by bullies...The cruel words of one are nothing compared to the shouts of many."

Let us fill our homes with shouts of praise and acceptance, drowning out the weak voices of cruelty and ignorance. No matter the world's opinion, know your self-worth. 

 You are beautiful! You are smart! You are special!!

USA! USA!

You guys,

I.

LOVE.

THE SUMMER OLYMPICS!!!

I mean, I freakin' LOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEE the summer Olympics. Like, I would marry it if I could.

Right now on my DVR, I have nearly 50 hours recorded of Olympic coverage...and that's after I've already watched and erased about another 40 hours of it. If they gave medals for Olympics spectating, I'd have the gold.

It doesn't even matter what sports are being broadcasted. I love watching it all. Volleyball? Of course. Track and field? Duh. Swimming and water polo?? Umm, guys in speedos, hello!! But Badminton, handball, and shooting? I WATCH IT ALL.

No matter what event I'm watching, during the broadcast I become a professional commentator and an expert on the sport. I've never cared about archery and fencing so much in my life!!!

But of course, my all time favorite Olympic event to follow is gymnastics. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Wayne Young is my uncle.

Who's Wayne Young????



Oh, only the captain of the 1976  U.S. Olympic gymnastic team in Montreal and inductee to the USA Gymnastics Hall of Fame.

Still don't know who he is? Well, how about his son Guard Young?



Yup. He helped the U.S. men's team win the silver medal at the 2004 Athens games. No big deal.

So you see? My love for the Olympics was predestined. One of these years, I WILL attend the games. Perhaps not as a competing athlete as being incredibly good-looking and incredibly obnoxious have yet to be events included in the games. But dang it! As soon as they are, you'd better believe I'll be standing on that podium, saluting our flag and singing along with our national anthem!!!

USA! USA!

Things that warm my heart: Summer edition

The best things about summer, in no particular order:

• swimming
• tanning
• fireworks
• strawberries
• farmer's market and festivals
• BBQs
• the beach
• outdoor volleyball
• thunder storms
• shave ice (and accompanying dance!)

In Connie We Trust

Last Saturday, my family lost our dear Grandma Connie. It was so sudden, so shocking, and so devastating. While my family continues to mourn the loss of our sweet Grandma and because I am so exhausted and tired of thinking about the sadness of it all, I wanted to share some happier, more comical incidents that transpired during this tumultuous week.

• Mom and I went to the funeral home to make all the necessary arrangements. As required by law, the funeral director was explaining to us the possibility of incidental co-mingling of ashes during the cremation process since the walls of the crematory are brick and porous. Upon hearing this Mom turns to me and says, "Oh good! Grandma will be with friends!" And knowing Grandma, Mrs. Chatty Chatterton, that would be the perfect situation
• When the funeral director called to say that Grandma's ashes were prepared and ready, we jokingly told the babies that Grandma was on her way home. My niece Lili-pie got all serious and said, "Nuh uh! Grandma's NOT magical!"
• We placed Grandma's urn on top of the mantle. Now the babies like to run in and out of the room saying, "Hi Grandma!" and then try to rub Grandma's belly...the bulbous body of the urn...for good luck.
• (This episode obviously took place prior to this week but it feels appropriate to share it now.) A few months ago, Ry got his tattoo reworked. Grandma was asking what design Ryan got and he answered, "It's actually a tattoo of your walker." I, of course, had to chime in with, "Yeah, and encircling it are the words 'In Connie We Trust'"Now we can't bear to get rid of Grandma's walker...cuz who knows when I'll throw out my back again...

While these anecdotes may seem irreverent, make no mistake how much we all love and revere our Grandma. She was the sweetest, kindest, most caring woman I have known. I'm so so sorry for those of you who didn't know her. And for those of you who did, know how lucky you are.

PB&P

So Ry and I are watching TV and I hear Lollers yelling for me in the bathroom that she's done...aka...my cue to come help her wipe.

We get the job done, wash up, and run back into the living room. She comes running out behind me saying,

"Daddy! Daddy! When my poo-poo came out it had peanut butter on it!"

Ryan and I then proceeded to joke with her about making sandwiches.

What can I say? We're a classy bunch.

The Help

Being a stay-at-home mom has some awesome perks, but there are always two sides to every coin.

Apparently being a SAHM is synonymous with being a maid cuz people in my house be thinkin' I just LIVE to clean up their messes!!

Some chores in particular are worse than others.

Doing the Dishes

Mostly this dishes suck because you are never done. Especially in my house, where my husband completely ignores/avoids/disregards the empty dishwasher and instead, dumps his plate and silverware right into the sink.

Um, HELLO!! It would have taken you a total of 5 extra seconds to rinse your dishes and place them in the washer.

And when I catch him in the act and flip my lid, his response is, "Oh, it's SO hard for you to put them in the washer. You don't have to get so mad!" Apparently it IS hard if you can't do it!!! And you call yourself an MBA...

Preparing Meals

I used to absolutely detest cooking. Mostly because I didn't really know how. But now, with thanks to Pinterest, I've learned me some recipes and have moved on from loathing to cook to just being mildly inconvenienced by it. Still, it's a pain in the butt when I've spent forever making a meal and then nobody eats it. Whether you don't like what I made or you've already eaten, you'd better finish that plate! I did not just spend 2 hours, dirtying every pot in my kitchen to make a meal for nobody to eat!!

And even worse, I'm the only one in my house who eats leftovers. Husband says it's cuz he doesn't like eating the same thing two days in a row, but then I'm the one eating all the leftovers for like 5 days in a row just so it doesn't go to waste. Don't be complaining to me that i didn't pack you a lunch for work when there are 5 Tupperwares in the fridge full of leftovers.

Cleaning the Bathroom

Do I really need to explain why this chore sucks?? Eww.

But the worst chore of all time??? All the other little things you will spend hours of your life doing that no one will recognize, appreciate, or give you credit for doing. So is the life of a stay-at-home mom.

Whether you're a stay-at-home mom/dad or not, what are some of your most loathsome chores??

I sing you to me

The other night I'm at the gym and Australia is playing in the cardio cinema. I've seen this movie dozens of times, as it is one of my ALL TIME favorites. I can NEVER watch that movie without bawling my cryballs out. So when the following scene appeared on the screen, I quickly grabbed a wad of tissues and cranked my treadmill up to a sprint. Commence water works.

Even now as I rewatch this I'm teary-eyed and covered in goosebumps!! Following this scene, Lady Ashley (Nicole Kidman) and little Nullah share this exchange:

Lady Ashley: I will come and find you; whatever it takes, we'll be together again

Nullah: I believe you, Mrs. Boss (whispers) Mrs. Boss, I sing you to me

...

Lady Ashley: And I will hear you, my darling

Are you dying???? Cuz I am!!!

Perusing the interweb for more commentary about this movie, scene, and musical influence, I came across a blog entitled Behind the Voice. Author Ken Mademe writes about Australia:

Oh, that the songs we sing could bring people to a good place. Oh, that we could sing each other to health and caring. Oh, that we could sing each other to healing and comfort.

Yes, yes, YES!!! Music is such a significant and powerful tool. The effect music has on individuals is amazing.

Some of my fondest memories from my childhood were centered around the piano in our home. My mother would often play a church hymn and my siblings and I would each choose different voice parts to sing. The game would be to guess what Dad would sing as he was famous for switching parts and harmonies at random. Most of our evenings at home were spent in this manner. As a family, we were brought together by our shared love of music.

The same holds true today. While my brothers enjoy listening to rap and my sister sings along with show tunes, we still find common ground around a hymn book and piano.

Music offers us the unique ability to unify ourselves and express our feelings for one another.

Each night before I put Lolli to bed, we cuddle in her room and sing songs together, including Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Not only is it my way of calming her down for the night, but it's also my way of instilling in her my love of music.

I hope she grows to find joy, comfort, and delight in music. And when she hears or sings the sweet melody of one of our bedtime lullabies, she will know of my love for her.

My sweet Lolli, I sing you to me.

Cast in Bronze

As a warning, I'm sure nobody will find the following story amusing or humorous. It was really one of those you-had-to-be-there type moments. Plus, it's rife with inside jokes so many people won't enjoy it to the fullest extent anyways. BUT ALAS!!! I record this story for my family's and our posterity's sake!

With that said, our dinner conversation the other night at Mom's house revolved around funerals. Below is the mostly true dialogue that followed:

Grandma: "I just want to be cremated"

Mom: "I want to be cremated, too, and be sprinkled up in the mountains somewhere."

Me: "I want to be cast in bronze and displayed in a mausoleum! Shoot! I want to be displayed as the dining room centerpiece so you can all admire me even after death!"

Mom: "Yeah, okay. I'll just take you to Sierra West and ask 'Can you dip this for me please?'"

Me: "No, Argento!"

Christopher: "We'll probably just end up selling you down at Check City"

Mom: "So we can buy a coffee at McDonalds"

Me: "Or the cheap stack of pancakes at Village Inn."

Mom: "Or just the free pancakes at IHOP."

And...SCENE!

See? Told you you probably wouldn't find it too amusing. But of course my family, we all think we're the most hilarious people in the entire history of comedy.

Guess you just had to be there.

Jake and The Neverland Privates

This morning before church, I was giving Lollers a bath. It was time to soap down. This was the ensuing conversation.

Me: "Ok, I need to wash your privates."

Lollers: "But I have a wiener like Daddy."

Me: "Ummmm, what?"

Lollers: "A wiener."

"Whhhyyyy???"

"Just for pretend."

"But whhhhyyyy?!"

"Because I want my name to be Jake, and Jake is a boy."

"But you're a girl."

"But Jake is a boy."

"But your name is Lalea, and you're a girl."

"I like Jake better."

"Too bad. You're name is Lalea, you're a girl, and you don't talk about wieners."

Gone are the days of walking around the house naked and free. I think Lollers is a little too aware of what's going on. Dang.

Dirty Thirty

This past Monday was Ry-guy's 30th birthday!!!!!!!

My original plan to celebrate this monumental day was to have a mustache and bow-tie party, uber hipster style. But then I realized how much work that would actually be, and I was too lazy. Just kidding...well, kind of. We actually decided with Birthdavalenersary all happening in the same week, we would just take a trip down to Vegas to celebrate.

So in the meantime, we headed up to Sugarhouse BBQ to get our grub on. Daddy loves his rib.

It was a small affair with a few good friends, family, and an AMAZING cake!

Photo credits go to my girl Chellor. Thanks!

And the incredible masterpiece of a cake was done by my darling friend Becky. She is seriously so talented. I told her what I wanted and she went CRAZY!!! It turned out better than I could have ever imagined.

Oh, and it tasted SOOOOOOOOOO good! Three layers of German chocolate, coconutty goodness!!!

As a child, Ry's mom used to read "Where the Wild Things Are" all the time. Apparently he was quite little terror. Still is. And now that he's grown, Ry reads "Wild Things" to Lollers. How sickeningly tender. You can go throw up now.

So yes, Ry is an old man now. I think he's kinda freaked out about it, but I think it's kinda sexy. Is that weird? I'm not like creepin' around nursing homes or anything. You're gross. I just think it's attractive that Ry is like, a REAL man now. A business man. A winner!

Spawn of Satan

This week Lolli has been super sick. She's had a horrible cough and runny nose accompanied by an outrageous fever. I know how much it sucks being sick. And when you're child is sick, it's heartbreaking because they're so miserable and there's not much you can do to help them.

Now, I'm not a very patient person, but with Lolli being sick this week I really, truly tried. The first 3 days she was completely out of commission. Couldn't really get up and play. She would just lie there on my bed like a limp noodle. So caring for her then was pretty easy. Just pump her with fluids, turn on some toonies, and administer meds as needed.

Well, the past few days things have gotten worse. She didn't get more sick. She actually got lots better. It's just her whininess and crying that's escalated. Every two seconds she breaks down into tears because she can't find the book she wants to read, her stuffed elephant won't stand up on his own, the rolled cuff on her jeans is crooked, the jammies she wants to wear are dirty, I won't pay $7 for a 3 minute train ride at the mall, or I won't let her eat 2lbs of M&Ms for breakfast. The list goes on and on.

The other day, I told her she needed to pick up her room because it was a disaster. She straight up yelled at me, no exaggeration, "I'm not doing anything you say!!" I about lost my sh*! with that one.

And the coughing. Oh the coughing!! The hacking is non stop! I tell her to cover her mouth and she just coughs straight into my face even harder.

Same goes for the nose picking. I swear our entire house is covered in boogers cuz that girl can't seem to keep her finger out of her nostril. And when I tell her to knock it off, she screams at me. No lie! She SCREAMS.

But the thing that irks me the most and makes me just want to throw myself in front of a bus is the constant whining for Daddy. Any time I tell Lolli "No" or I make her do something she doesn't want to do, she automatically starts crying for Daddy.

Nothing will console her once she starts crying for him. I tell her that he's at school or at work or wherever and that he can't be there right now, she cries harder. As impatient as I am and as horrible as I probably sound, I've done nothing but shower her with toys, activities, tasty treats, and trips to fun places all this week. And the second I do something she doesn't like, she only wants Daddy?!?!?!? AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Maybe I'm making a bigger deal out of this than I really should be, but I'm seriously about to lose my mind. And of course she's a demon the week that Ryan is gone. And when I tell Ryan how terrible of a day I'm having and how poorly Lolli is behaving, he just kind of scoffs and doesn't really understand how difficult it is sometimes. When he leaves work or school, he's done for the day. My job never ends, even when he's home.

Am I alone in my plight? What about all you other stay-at-home moms? How do you deal with rotten children? How do you keep your cool instead of hurling yourself off a cliff?!

And dads, what do you do to help out your wife after she's had an exasperating day with the kids?

Daddy's Homecoming

Lolli sang this song to Ry last year for Father's Day, so why not make it a tradition?

Also, just wanted to post my most favorite picture of my father.

I miss him dearly and am comforted to know that families are forever.

Happy Father's Day to all the great Dads out there!!

Ramblings

1) A few weeks ago, I bought a month's membership for Sweaty Chix Fitness on Groupon. Sweaty Chix is AWESOME! They offer lots of different fitness classes like Cardio Drench, Yoga, and Zumba. But my all time favorite classes are Hip Hop Hustle and Hot Hula. Of course, I love hip hop cuz you know I like to pop my booty. But have you seen the booty shakin' require for hula??!? Well, Tahitian really. But you knew I'd love me some hula...since I am Hawaiian and all. Lalea even comes to dance with me sometimes.

2) Our Eurotrip is less than a month away. I'm stressing BIG time! I'm just so nervous about our travel arrangements. I'm sure something is gonna get messed up of miscommunicated and one of us is gonna get stranded somewhere. Maybe I should have gone with a travel agent after all. But when I met with one, he seemed like and idiot and hadn't even been to Europe. He had no insider information and was only reiterating things I had already researched for myself. I actually found myself better deals than the agent was offering. Though, I guess the beauty in an agent is not having to do the research for myself anyways. It's a trade-off.

3) My family is obsessed with playing Settlers of Catan. We are now a true Utah County Mormon family. How cheesy.

4) Last month, my mom's dog got super sick and we had to put her down. So sad. We've had Pili for nearly 8 years. After Mom put her down, she was going through puppy withdrawls. So, last week she picked up another. This is Rella. She's a Morkie, half Maltese half Yorkie. One of the cutest things you've ever seen!

5) I'm lacking some serious motivation. After training for almost 2 years straight, I'm starting to get burnt out on running. Running has turned into more of an obligation. I'm always proud and feel accomplished after completing a long run on Saturdays, but Friday night leading up to it, I'm so angry. I have such a bad attitude going into it because I just don't want to HAVE to do it anymore. I haven't taken my training as seriously this time around. I think I'm going to take a break after Ogden. Switch to cycling for a while. I'll still run. Maybe do some half marathons and some 10ks, but I don't think I'll do a full marathon again until after we have another baby. But with that all said, I'm still very appreciative of everyone's support, encouragement, and generosity. I truly wouldn't have gotten this far without your help. Thanks a million!

Things That Warm My Heart

I'm half Hawaiian, though, I don't think I always look Hawaiian. Since I'm part white as well, I'm always told that I look so much like my mother. Not a bad thing, but I see lots of other Polynesians in our community and they look COMPLETELY Polynesian.

When I see them, I wonder if they look at me and know I'm Polynesian, too. I feel like we have some kind of kinship, both being Poly.

My sister is the most Hawaiian looking of us all. She looks exactly like my Tutu Sarah. There ain't no denying that girl's heritage. I, on the other hand, am a little more difficult to figure out.

I've got naturally dark features and generally a darker skin tone. People can usually guess that I come from some type of exotic decent but it's often been mistaken to be Hispanic. WRONG-O!!

I was at the running store a couple months ago, buying new shoes. The employee there helping me started chatting it up and joking around with me about how wide my feet were. (They are. They're probably the widest, flattest feet you'll ever come across in your life.)

He then started talking about a Polynesian friend of his that has drama buying running shoes, too, cuz his feet are so wide. He says, "You Polys need to just open up your own running store that caters to your giant feet!"

While I should have been offended for his remarks about my ginormous hooves, I was instead delighted that he could tell and knew I was Polynesian.

For once my big nose, wide feet, and massive legs aren't misunderstood!! Now if we could only do something about Lalea, the whitest Hawaiian girl I know!

It'll make you say WOW everytime!

When we were little, I remember my brother Jordan watching infomercials and making my mom buy some of the items advertised. I recall getting a vacuum sealer thing and some grippy jar opener things, too. Who knows what other crap Jordan made my mom buy.

I was over at my mom's today, and went downstairs to talk to Jordan. I walk into his room and find him lying on the bed, watching QVC. I said, "Why are you watching infomercials?" His reply, "I love infomercials. QVC and HSN are my favorite."

He then proceeds to tell me that the other day on HSN, Mariah Carey was hosting a segment, trying to sell her new line of shoes or something. When he saw this, Jordan rushed to the phone and called the purchasing hot-line. When he got through, he asked if he could go on air.

"Sorry, sir. You actually need to buy the item first so you have something to talk about while on air."

"Eh, no thanks. I just wanted to talk to Mariah."

Click.

So close.

Lovey Dovey

February is a busy month for us. We've got Ry's birthday on the 13th, Valentine's Day on the 14th, and our wedding anniversary on the 16th.

With all these lovey dovey events within a week of each other, we usually have one big celebration to honor Birthdavalenersary. This year, however, we opted out of doing anything since, ya know, the whole Euro trip has kinda sucked our funds dry. We figure we'll party enough on that vacay to honor the next 3 Birthdavalenersaries to come.

So in lieu of any fancy dinners, boxes of chocolates, and romantic couples massages, I've simply compiled a rather hackneyed list of some of the reasons why I love, appreciate, am attracted to, and generally like my husband.

In no particular order:

-He knew I was high maintenance and still willingly married me

-He rocks a mohawk

-He buys me anything I want at Victoria's Secret (Though I'm pretty sure this is a selfish gesture on his part)

-He buys me makeup

-He buys me anything I want

-He is an amazing father

-He took me to the temple

-He puts up with my loud and obnoxious family

-He hates cats

-He appreciates fashion and looks amazing in a pinstripe suit

-He lets me wear his hoodies

-He thinks I'm beautiful

-He tells me he loves me every day

-He has supported me through 2 marathons and many more to come

-He ran Redrock with me and looks forward to doing another relay

-He sacrifices snowboarding on Saturdays so that I can attend my team runs

-He's still an awesome snowboarder

-He played rugby in college

-He's educated and motivated

-He has a strong work ethic and continuously strives to provide for his family

-He's a worthy priesthood holder

-He's mine

As unromantic as the two of us are, I think this list has just enough sap in it to appease even the corniest of cheese balls.

So to my husband, thanks for all you do. I love you, and stuff.