12.05.2008

Things That Must Go: Second Edition

As I furiously hunted down a parking spot this morning at work, I was enraged by all the idiot people on campus. This was all the fuel I needed to create another list of things that must go.

*******

Parking lot followers; you know, the cars that follow people out to their car so that they can take their spots when they leave

Every single person who has their rides drop them off in the parking lot of our building. That parking lot is tiny as it is, and when stupid lazy people have their husbands or room mates pull in to drop them off at the door, it congests the rest of the flow of traffic. And even more importantly, there's a sign at the entrance of the parking lot that blatantly states that this lot is absolutely NOT a pick up and drop off zone. Apparently these people should get their money back from BYU, because obviously they haven't even learned to read.

HUGE 4x4 trucks that park in the compact spots. If you have a double cab truck with a 7 inch lift and 37 inch tires, you have no business even thinking about compact parking spots.

Stupid pedestrians on 700 N. They walk out into the middle of the road without even looking to see if there are any cars coming. And at night, it's 10x worse! It's like they wanna get hit. Well, one of these I'm gonna do it, and I'm gonna laugh and laugh and laugh.

975,300,000,000 handicapped parking stalls and only like 7 regular parking spots.

People who wear loads of makeup during the day, go for a 7 mile run, causing lots of sweat, but then don't shower or even wash their face before they go to bed. Then, they simply wake up in the morning and cover their already filthy face with even more makeup and comb more product through their greasy hair. SICK!!!

People who talk loudly on their phones in restaurants.

Annoying laughs

The guy who comes to the math colloquium and loads up his plate with mounds and mounds of food. This isn't an all you can eat buffet. It's light refreshments, which means, you take a couple celery sticks, and a handful of crackers...not the entire sheet of cookies and the whole gallon of milk! No Augustus. Save some room for later!

People who don't have email

Magic cards

Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky jokes

Stretch marks

People who honestly think and act like they're real vampires.

Paris Hilton

The phrases, "yadda yadda yadda" and "and what not"

The Greek food restaurant

The song Christmas Shoes..."Sir, I wanna buy these shoes for my mama, please." I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

8 year olds with cell phones

People who don't wash their hands after going to the bathroom. Gross!

Charging $25.97 for shipping on an item that cost $1.23

Extreme PDA

Forwarded chain letter email messages, "Bloody Mary will appear at your bedside tonight if you don't forward this on to 19 people!"

Fees to use other banks' ATMs

People who say Nordstroms, it's Nordstrom

Horchata

Thinking your child is cuter than mine

*******

What would be on your list of things that must go??

3 comments:

Jimmy said...

You're a hoot! I totally agree with the whole parking lot stalker thing, to the extent that I wrote a chapter about it in my (unfinished) book. You can read it here.

The captcha for this entry is "pountsch", is that what drunk tigers do to their prey?

beckie said...

The song Christmas Shoes..."Sir, I wanna buy these shoes for my mama, please." I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Ditto. I was at work once, before Icon, and this song came on and some girl started crying. Meanwhile I was dry heaving.

Tutu said...

How dare you list the Greek food restaurant on your Bad List. You only hate it because you ate there while in the throws of morning sickness!!!!