HIV+

I'm obsessed with showering. I seriously take probably 5 showers a day. Not saying that I'm washing my hair every time and going through that whole routine. Rather, I'm jumping in the shower, soaping off my bod, then back into clean clothes.

I wouldn't say I was a germaphobe. I have no problem double dipping or sharing sips off other people's drinks. I just hate being sweaty and grimy. Ugh. The second I feel sticky, I strip and get in the shower.

Ummm...I also have to shower every time after I go to the bathroom...number 2 that is. Don't judge me. So, I just pray that I'm at home when the urge hits. If not, I'm upset the rest of the day until I can bathe cuz I just feel...dirty...and not in the good, Christina Aguilera kinda way.

Back story out of the way...

Yesterday I took Lalea to the dollar theater to see Tangled in 3D.

Side note: Have you seen pictures of Zachary Levi, the guy who does the voice of Flynn Rider?I guess he's also on the T.V. series Chuck? Regardless, SUPER cute! Might have to add him to the boyfriend list.

ANYWAYS...

We're getting all settled into our seats. I break out the illegal contraband that I smuggled in via my big ass purse. I hand Lolli her sippy cup and she places it in the seat cup holder. Not two minutes later, I hear a thud and then a roll.

"Uh oh," says Lolli.

"Great," says I.

I go from row to row searching for the lost sippy. Meanwhile, my demon child is yelling at the top of her lungs that she needs a drink right this second cuz she's so parched from all her candy eating and goodie snacking. I'm frustrated and embarrassed, struggling to see anything in the dimly lit theater.

Lalea switches from demon child to straight up spawn of Satan, screaming hysterically because the theater seat flipped up and she got her leg stuck in it.

I sprint back to help Lucifer out of the seat and instead of expressing gratitude for saving her life, she demands to know where her sippy cup is.

DAMN THAT SIPPY CUP!!!

Just wanting to shut this child up, I do the unthinkable. I drop down on my hands and knees, right onto the disgusting concrete theater floor. After only about 2.25 seconds of exposing my bare hands and knees to such filth, I was over it. My child could die of dehydration for all I cared.

But the damage was already done. For the entire length of the movie, I stressed and fretted over the types of germs and bacteria making their way into my blood stream at that very moment. Surely I had contracted AIDS from that floor.
When the movie was over, I couldn't get home fast enough. I briefly thought of jumping into the shower fully clothed, as I'm sure my garments were now soiled from the theater's dysentery. I even considered bleaching my skin...or at least my knee caps and palms.

Think I'm exaggerating? Have you ever been to Movies 8 in Provo? Then you know what I mean.

Eff sippy cups.